Unlike my pregnancy with Daniel, I didn’t have any strong sense about this child: no name ideas or special Bible verses, no strong sense of the baby’s gender — although I was mistakenly guessing it was a girl! I figured it was mostly because I have less quiet moments to even think about the baby. My life is a lot busier and noisier with a toddler around, and I joked that this baby was like a typical second child, already getting “lost in the shuffle!”
In contrast with my first pregnancy, I did not download a pregnancy app or spend hours reading about my pregnancy each week to track whether my baby was now the size of a lentil or kumquat. Most of the time I could hardly remember what week of pregnancy I was at! We hadn’t even gotten around to making any official public baby announcement, not because we were trying to keep it private, but mainly because our summer was so non-stop crazy with traveling overseas, Bob’s busiest season at work, and then landing in the hospital with Daniel and learning to manage his new Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis.
Two weeks before the 20-week ultrasound, I was driving home from grocery shopping and during those quiet moments alone in the car, I asked God for His thoughts about this baby. I had these words from Matthew 7:7 come to mind (in the Amplified version): “Ask (and keep on asking)… seek (and keep on seeking)… knock (and keep on knocking)…” I had a sense that with this child we were going to need to learn about perseverance in prayer. Immediately after that, I felt wave of peace wash over me, and I sensed that God wants to give us peace in the midst of relentless prayer.
In light of the Trisomy 18 diagnosis, I am clinging to this verse and putting it into practice. I will keep asking and praying for this little boy; I know God is able to intervene and heal him completely. If God gives you faith to believe for that, please, please pray with all your heart! But I also trust God’s goodness no matter the outcome. Whether He heals our son or not, God is deepening my prayer life and probably many of yours as well. I know my faith and trust is growing as I draw close to Him.
Thank you for standing with our family in this season. We feel the prayers and love of so many people surrounding us, and God’s grace sustaining us. We are so grateful to have our family and friends, and even strangers standing with us. It means so much to know we don’t have to walk this journey alone!